What if there was an origin to all that was common to all, but not all could realize 'It' all of the time? I like the use of aerial dance to express a kind of cosmic 'play' with that common origin and how it in turn may play with us. Is there a fixed and permanent reality that we arise from? is the conditional realm we live, die and play in anchored to a permanent and unconditional source or are we part of a play of opposites who exist only because the opposite also exists? Opposing forces create each other, but is there an 'It' in which they both arise and come into being?
SILK FORCE
SILK FORCE
THE GROUND IN WHICH WE ARISE
This is the first painting I have done for a while after music and creating Fidget Feet with Chantal took over time wise. It was sparked by the arrival of a muse in the form of Roisin Harten, a young and very talented dancer who created a dance piece called 'The Ladykillers Wife', to the music of another friend Daisy McCrackin. While i was thinking of painting again, and getting excited about having an exhibition in a forest, I was asking Roisin if it was a good idea to do an exhibition in a forest, she said 'yes; but you must paint me'!, and here we are, with Roisin in the costume and one of the moves from the piece. The energy Roisin has for dance and the way she looks so at ease in moving reminded me how Einstien declared 'Everything is energy'. The painting was done quickly, with energy and thinking about how I want my paintings now to always refer to Reality Itself. The hole in the universe therefore is present, and one of the descriptions of Reality Itself is that It Is the Ground in which we appear and disappear, as energy, an energy that is a modification of the Source Condition Itself.
This is the first painting I have done for a while after music and creating Fidget Feet with Chantal took over time wise. It was sparked by the arrival of a muse in the form of Roisin Harten, a young and very talented dancer who created a dance piece called 'The Ladykillers Wife', to the music of another friend Daisy McCrackin. While i was thinking of painting again, and getting excited about having an exhibition in a forest, I was asking Roisin if it was a good idea to do an exhibition in a forest, she said 'yes; but you must paint me'!, and here we are, with Roisin in the costume and one of the moves from the piece. The energy Roisin has for dance and the way she looks so at ease in moving reminded me how Einstien declared 'Everything is energy'. The painting was done quickly, with energy and thinking about how I want my paintings now to always refer to Reality Itself. The hole in the universe therefore is present, and one of the descriptions of Reality Itself is that It Is the Ground in which we appear and disappear, as energy, an energy that is a modification of the Source Condition Itself.
Broken heart opens mind genitals (and everything is transparent for one and a half seconds)
This was my last major oil canvas before I died. It was the last great battle of the search, the first intuition that there was a 'something' to be found, that it 'could' be found and that somehow the ceaselessly changing nature of the world which I seemed to inhabit was the engine of distraction that was at once causing the search and causing the inability to 'find'. There 'I' am, having understood or intuited 'something' and attempting to hold back the tide of events, urges, patterns and compulsions that are forever forcing me onwards, to not let me rest in that understanding, to not let it be a reality for me over and above the seeming reality of this world of conditions, of ceaseless change. The golden self, or better, faster, perfect ego 'I' was attempting to create in this world stands shivering and deeply disturbed in the sudden moment of mystery created in the fast river of fear and knowing in which we were and will again be caught up and swept away in. Is it the body and the mind stood in a millisecond of True and Graceful fearlessness? The opening of times oyster to glimpse not the pearl of possibilities, but the ending of all their purpose in a pearl of devastating clarity? . A brief moment of intuited enlightenment, a grace given, and lost, which like a seed, took hold in the dark and crumpled earth of my life's weighty debris, to emerge several years later in the incredible and perplexing gift of becoming more and more established in the garden of 'having found', where the delicious mystery remains as a new and all inclusive and infinite flower that can always be found and felt yet never known.
Conception overlaps the mystical womb (and the dreamer changes the era forever, again!)
In a effort to illustrate the other frequencies and realms that are in existence in and around the station we are tuned into, and in an attempt to shake up my own 'point of view', , I had this painting exhibited on an ever turning motor. It fell of one day whilst me and my wife were watching it and deciding if we should leave London (where we lived at the time) and become performers in Europe's largest club. We took that as a sign to embrace change and went. This was the womb I created to birth myself next in, or my next self in, and an attempt to end the pattern and apparent necessity of subjection to the mother and father routine. The dreamer births into the dreamt and a era of conscious navigation and self responsibility begins, only to discover change itself is still the victor in a game of restless distraction. Another un-necessary beauty is born in the meantime garden of wandering from that which Is Inherent and Perfect Beauty Itself.
Exposing the everflow (loves own design of incompletion in desires sea of longing for that which is whole and perfect and unchanging)
Loves kiss brings promise of everlasting wholeness in the infinite realms where the only constant is change itself. That which the heart seeks is found here upon the stage of relentless change only in echos and shadows. Within the painting, the missing piece of the puzzle is exposed that keeps the changes coming, it is in the nature of everything of the conditional realms to remain unfulfilled, something is always missing, something is always going. A sense of fulfillment can visit, be stumbled upon, be graced to you, yet it will go, the mask will drop, death will empty each and every actor from the stage. This is enough, for a while, yet there always comes a time when the cost of loss and change and finding again becomes to much a burden on the heart and it longs to know if there really is a state of changlessness, full and complete and whole in itself where nothing can ever be missing or less than eternally perfect. This was the painting or the time when I understood I would never achieve fulfillment here in this state of being a body in the universe. The journey began, to find out if absolute perfection was possible at all. It was another 25 or so years before I began to understand the answer, before Reality Itself began to enter into this Self forgetting and disassociating state of conditional being. It was then that I also saw the midnight sun, or the Self portrait of Reality Itself is the circle in which the universe of designed imperfection and incompleteness is arising (the painting itself is a circle). The 'answer' cannot just be said, it is prior to any mind or universe in which it could be said. It cannot be merely believed, but can be fully felt and self understood. You cannot do this by yourself, because you are the problem, you are that design of incompleteness. Again you are urged to look to Reality Itself guided by one who is competent in bringing you to that understanding, that enlightenment. Adi Da Samraj. Look deeper into this person, for yourself, or remain in the everflow of loss and gain until your True Heart needs you to look.
Reassembled in the opposite of a mirror (or why tolerance is is important in avoiding setting yourself on fire and other pains)
Playing with point (below) of view led to this fun detail, right way up, the small figures can dominate your point of view, the man with the walking stick, the king figure holding the orb etc. On its side, the large head comes into dominance and the hand holding the orb of earth becomes his. Upside down the pearl of wisdom that death will level us all, kings, servants, big or small, will all face death. Maybe this should influence or stance whilst on earth a lot more than it does.
A rainbow is broken up into seemingly separate 'parts', but it is white light. An enemy is seen as a separate colour, so is a lover, a killer, king or ugly thing. Colours battle on the ground, struggle for acceptance or dominance, and return to undifferentiated light where there is no difference between them. Undifferentiated Conscious Light is the truth of our appearance here as seemingly separate entities/colours, how would what we do while we appear here look if this was a common point of view?
The key to possibilities (or time travel through wearing the heart of a dead girl.)
Terry was on the great search to far greater extent than most, he knew he had not too long to live, he had the heart of a young girl who died in a car crash. It was the early days of heart transplants and Terry watched the news as it spoke of death after death of his fellow heart transplant patients. He was a magician, or a perpetual teenager, depending on your point of view, even at the age of 40 he actually had the real and pumping heart of a teenager. Here he investigates and search's while the almost invisible girl watches him through a crystal in the garden. Looking back now it is clearer that we are all searching for an alternating goal of union with.......(insert your 'grail' here, be it God, the illuminati, the aliens Buddha, nirvana or whatever) or independence from (insert same thing here). It is not a comment on Terry whom I loved very much, but Terry illustrates the adolescent position of most of humanity, wanting or believing this or that to be true (or not true depending on whats going on for us) instead of finding out what really is and growing up in our understanding of our position here, in our understanding of (put your thing in here again).
The Eternal Process of personality (or how we survive death without a personality, or a personal entity)
The first disturbing thought I had was 'where was 'I' before this'? Later I began to see evidence that the birth process itself is such a shock to the subtle and gross aspects of being, that memory is literally 'shocked' out of us. There is evidence many children remember their lives before the present one, but gradually lose this, especially in a culture that holds little importance in thinking beyond the appearance of things in this world. What if we are seeing this complex subject from the narrow point of view and un-inspected presumption that there is a separate 'entity' riding around in every carcass, like drivers do in cars. What if the whole forward process was more of a movement, like waves in the sea, that it is the habits of each lifetime that creates the apparent personality and circumstance of each proceeding lifetime.
What if consciousness was free, whole and complete in Itself and was modified by each personhood according to their structure so that consciousness had the appearance of being different and separate entities somehow 'housed' in these bio chemical structures. It could be seen as the One Conscious Light modified by the slightly different crystalline structures appearing in each lifetime 9or person), and therefore giving the appearance of being different and separate conscious entities in each lifetime, or indeed in each person in every life. The clenched fist is the root cause of making these presumed separate entities, Adi Da uses the clenched fist to indicate 'self contraction', the act of disassociating from the Divine through the impulse of fear.
What if consciousness was free, whole and complete in Itself and was modified by each personhood according to their structure so that consciousness had the appearance of being different and separate entities somehow 'housed' in these bio chemical structures. It could be seen as the One Conscious Light modified by the slightly different crystalline structures appearing in each lifetime 9or person), and therefore giving the appearance of being different and separate conscious entities in each lifetime, or indeed in each person in every life. The clenched fist is the root cause of making these presumed separate entities, Adi Da uses the clenched fist to indicate 'self contraction', the act of disassociating from the Divine through the impulse of fear.